A few weeks ago, my brother and his wife went out to stay at a fancy hotel for the night. He asked that I watch their dog Niku Maru (Japanese for meatball) while they were gone. It wasn't really that necessary since it was only one night but I'm sure he appreciated the company and I didn't mind hanging out with him.

One of the first things I did was almost lock myself out of the apartment. I noticed on my way there that there was a Burger King there. It's fairly well known that McDonald's pretty much owns Manhattan because they are freakin' everywhere. I remember there was once a McD's and a Burger King right next to each other on West 4th St. Guess who is still there and who has long since disappeared.

So I go out and get my disgusting burger and fries and absurdly large drink and I get back to the apartment only to find that the keys didn't work. They went in all right but regardless of which way I turned it, the door wouldn't budge.

I stood there sweaty and frustrated for a good 15 minutes before I figured out the little magic trick of pushing the door in a bit, then twisting the key, or some such thing, I can't recall. It's a pain in the ass door.

I enjoyed my horrible food and watched TV, something that I rarely do anymore. An edited version of Billy Madison was on so I watched that. My favorite part is when one of Billy's friends is standing on the lawn spraying this kid with a hose. The kid's just sitting there taking it and Billy's friend just keeps on doing it and laughing. it's good sadistic times, I tell ya.

I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up, Niku's face was in my crotch. He likes to sleep between your legs. It's a thing that he does.

Regardless, he was nice and calm and just relaxing on the couch with me until Jessie arrived and she riled him up to no end. Thankfully, she had with her a bag full of Japanese food so I didn't have to eject her from the apartment.

So after having eaten a huge Burger King dinner, I ate another huge Japanese curry dinner only 3 hours later. Good times.
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